Based in Williamson County, Texas, WHY ARE Y'ALL HERE? is a travelog by Spencer Darr. His posts explore Texas counties through photos, maps, music, videos, writing, and--most importantly--interviews with local residents about why we are where we are. Y'all enjoy!

The Christian Dinosaurs of Somervell County

The Christian Dinosaurs of Somervell County

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The verse at the bottom of the sign is as follows:  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." How can I come to you with this damned bardbed wire fence between me and Your divine serenity? Also, I can't climb over it while I'm kneeling. But I can take this very cool photograph.

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SOMERVELL COUNTY, GLEN ROSE, TX
Somerville County Rd. 333. I drove through Hill, Hood, Comanche, Erath, and Bosque  counties in a blur wondering what angle I would take thematically for this trip. This sign in particular clenched it, since the number 3 is significant in the Bible and Christianity, what with the Holy Trinity (God, Jesus, Spirit) and what not. Also, as far as numerology and/or woo-woo new age bullshit is concerned, there is some special significance to seeing 333: 

"The number 333 meaning can signify the presence of Ascended Masters. These are spiritual teachers, healers and profits (sic) who guide us from the spirit realm. The Masters come from all walks of life and religions. Some include Jesus, Moses, Buddha and Saint Germain. Ascended Masters live on a bi-lateral plane, so they can help an unlimited number of people at once. When you’re in a life situation where you need encouragement, the Ascended Masters will use the number 333 to signal their appearance in your life."

Seems like it would make more sense if the "Ascended Masters" lived on a tri-lateral plane for the sake of symbolic continuity, but, hey, my degrees in English/Technical Communication are in rational humanistic bullshit, so I am out of my element here. I was reminded of a museum nearby I had been to with my parents once as a child, a magical place where science and religion overlap and collide like the Big Bang that brought forth the universe. Figurative language aside, though, this place completely disregards the prevailing billions of years in the making story of life's evolution for a more concise cosmological explanation of the universe that begins 6000 years ago with the creation stories of the Biblical Genesis. And the price of admission to this intellectual tree of the knowledge of science and myth is a mere 6 dollars. And where 2 or more 3s are gathered in His name, there will He be among them. (Matthew 18:20) And, let's face it:  the Bible becomes a helluva lot more interesting once dinosaurs are included.

 Two dinosaurs preying and/or praying--and Jesus is there, too, according to Matthew 18:20, you just can't see Him. Whether that's because they've eaten Him or because of His divine ascension beyond our Earthly realm and human sight, I don't know. I should have asked the museum curator. "Excuse me: when Jesus was crucified on the hill of Golgatha after Pontius Pilate sentenced him to death by Roman velociraptors, did they eat all of him? And is that why he was nailed to the cross, so he couldn't run away from the Roman velociraptors? And were Roman centurions riding the velociraptors while they were eating Jesus, or did they have to dismount prior to the Divine Consumption? And, when Jesus said in Luke 23:42, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," was he forgiving just the Romans and Jews who contributed to his crucifixion or was he forgiving the Roman velociraptors? Because I'm pretty sure the Romans and Jews knew exactly what they were doing, but I don't think the velociraptors did. They were probably just hungry and doing what they were trained by the Roman gladiators to do, which was eat whatever was hung up on the Feeding Cross." "Sir, Jesus was crucified in the New Testament. The dinosaurs existed in the Old Testament." "Oh. Thanks for the clarification." "Of course, sir. That's what we're here for."

Two dinosaurs preying and/or praying--and Jesus is there, too, according to Matthew 18:20, you just can't see Him. Whether that's because they've eaten Him or because of His divine ascension beyond our Earthly realm and human sight, I don't know. I should have asked the museum curator. "Excuse me: when Jesus was crucified on the hill of Golgatha after Pontius Pilate sentenced him to death by Roman velociraptors, did they eat all of him? And is that why he was nailed to the cross, so he couldn't run away from the Roman velociraptors? And were Roman centurions riding the velociraptors while they were eating Jesus, or did they have to dismount prior to the Divine Consumption? And, when Jesus said in Luke 23:42, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," was he forgiving just the Romans and Jews who contributed to his crucifixion or was he forgiving the Roman velociraptors? Because I'm pretty sure the Romans and Jews knew exactly what they were doing, but I don't think the velociraptors did. They were probably just hungry and doing what they were trained by the Roman gladiators to do, which was eat whatever was hung up on the Feeding Cross." "Sir, Jesus was crucified in the New Testament. The dinosaurs existed in the Old Testament." "Oh. Thanks for the clarification." "Of course, sir. That's what we're here for."

Ever imagined what it would be like if humans and dinosaurs coexisted?Well, imagine no more, because this museum has not only imagined that dinos and humans walked the Earth side-by-side--they hitched a ride together on the same gigantic ship of dreams that Noah built to weather The Great Flood of the Bible. Skeptical? Don't worry: for 6 bucks a head, The Creation Evidence Museum in Glen Rose, TX will prove it to you.

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Founded in 1984 by Dr Carl Baugh, this museum, "provides scientific evidence for creation to thousands of people each year. Every year, new artifacts and documents are added to the museum’s collection through the generosity of individuals." With a little online excavation, however, you'll discover that the "evidence" presented at this "museum" is not "scientific" according to scientists who have actually obtained doctorates, unlike Mr. Baugh, whose false credentials hail from either non-existent or unaccredited institutions of higher learning. Naturally, creating a fake identity as a scholar/scientist is elementary when your dayjob consists of convincing the paying public that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time a mere few thousand years ago. The imaginary "proof" is curated in the two-story museum in the physical form of elaborate hoaxes such as a rock with a human footprint inside a dinosaur footprint and a 25 foot long model of Noah's Ark.

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Say what you will about the historical and scientific inaccuracy of the museum, the intricate detail of the model ark containing multiple cutaways showing figurines ranging from humans to snakes to polar bears with pterodactyls flying above is a sight worth paying to behold. And, if you really want to evolve your Creationist consciousness, ask about the onsite hyperbaric chamber with magenta windows used to conduct experiments simulating atmospheric conditions before the flood.

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Two Smartphones Converged in a Wood

Two Smartphones Converged in a Wood